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| Tuesday, 24-Nov-2009 12:40 |
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**Let's get a few things straight here, shall we?**
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7 things about me...
1. I don’t use the term ‘friend’ loosely. I have to trust you, like you, and share more than just a breathing space with you, for me to regard you as a friend. And just because we work together, or have worked together once upon a time ago, it doesn’t automatically make us friends. ‘Colleagues’ doesn’t equate ‘friends’- please know the difference. And please get this one fact firmly ingrained in your head as I don’t think some of you out there understand how friendship works. I mean, really understand.
2. In case some of you out there is a bit slow to catch on this one, I don’t give a toss what others think of me. And I’m not the type who says that they don’t care what others think of them when they actually do care very much, either. I really don’t. No matter what you do, or say, you will never be able to change this one fact about me. So don’t waste your breath and stop making an even bigger fool of yourself. Just save it. Do your bit for Mother Earth and conserve energy. But I draw the line when it comes to my family and friends (see below).
3. I am fiercely protective of my family and friends. You cross them, you cross me. There’s no way around it. So think twice before you say or do anything untoward to/about them, in my knowledge or (god forbid) in my presence. You’ve been warned. P.S.: For those still unclear on whether they belong in this group of protected species, please refer to point #1 above.
4. I may have the thickest goddamn skin on earth, but I am very observant. Some may add ‘astute’ to that. I usually see and notice things that others might not, and I don’t necessarily relay it to others. And I’m usually right in my judgments of certain people/situations. But that does not make me a judgmental person. There’s a huge difference between ‘being judgmental’ and ‘having good judgment’. If you don’t agree with me, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m wrong. It may simply mean that you’re in denial.
5. If I layan you (give you the time of the day), it doesn’t necessarily mean that I like you. I don’t suffer fools gladly, but sometimes, I like to ‘entertain’ them every now and then, purely for the purpose of my own amusement.
6. Just because I take the piss out of myself quite often, it doesn’t mean that I have severe self-esteem issues. Despite my many shortcomings, I really don’t mind having them at all – they’re part of my whole genetic make-up, and I wouldn’t want to change a thing. I love myself, warts & all. I’m pretty proud to be ugly, remember? This is what many would refer to as ‘self-deprecating humour’, and it has got nothing to do with low self esteem. Look it up in the dictionary.
7. If you think you know me, think again. This privilege belongs to only a select few in my life. You, on the other hand, have barely even scratched the surface.
Thanks for your time. I’m glad we’ve got that all sorted out.
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| Sunday, 15-Nov-2009 12:00 |
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**And then comes Autumn...**
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The word autumn comes from the Old French word autompne (automne in modern French), and was later normalized to the original Latin word autumnus.[8] There are rare examples of its use as early as the 12th century, but it became common by the 16th century.
Before the 16th century, harvest was the term usually used to refer to the season. However, as more people gradually moved from working the land to living in towns (especially those who could read and write, the only people whose use of language we now know), the word harvest lost its reference to the time of year and came to refer only to the actual activity of reaping, and fall, as well as autumn, began to replace it as a reference to the season.[9][10]
The alternative word fall is now mostly a North American English word for the season. It traces its origins to old Germanic languages. The exact derivation is unclear, the Old English fiæll or feallan and the Old Norse fall all being possible candidates. However, these words all have the meaning "to fall from a height" and are clearly derived either from a common root or from each other. The term came to denote the season in 16th century England, a contraction of Middle English expressions like "fall of the leaf" and "fall of the year".[11]
During the 17th century, English immigration to the colonies in North America was at its peak, and the new settlers took their language with them. While the term fall gradually became obsolete in Britain, it became the more common term in North America, where autumn is nonetheless preferred in scientific and often in literary contexts.
This year, we've decided to capture the Autumn atmosphere in UoN....since there's nothing much to say, i'm going to let the pictures do all the story-mory...enjoy...
   
   
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| Saturday, 14-Nov-2009 12:00 |
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**Stoke lagi...**
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Just a few pics of us doing our yearly therapy...
Btw, there's also Halal Subway in Stoke...went there for lunch!! nyumm!! 
The address : 15 Howard Place, Shelton, Staffordshire, ST1 4NJ
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| Thursday, 5-Nov-2009 12:00 |
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**Dam, dam, doom...bunyi mercun!**
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(the bonfire from far...)
of Guy Fawkes-related bonfires actually began the very same year as the failed coup. The Plot was foiled in the night between the 4th and 5th of November 1605. Already on the 5th, agitated Londoners who knew little more than that their King had been saved, joyfully lit bonfires in thanksgiving. As years progressed, however, the ritual became more elaborate.
Soon, people began placing effigies onto bonfires, and fireworks were added to the celebrations. Effigies of Guy Fawkes, and sometimes those of the Pope, graced the pyres. Still today, some communities throw dummies of both Guy Fawkes and the Pope on the bonfire (and even those of a contemporary politician or two), although the gesture is seen by most as a quirky tradition, rather than an expression of hostility towards the Pope.
Preparations for Bonfire Night celebrations include making a dummy of Guy Fawkes, which is called "the Guy". Some children even keep up an old tradition of walking in the streets, carrying "the Guy" they have just made, and beg passersby for "a penny for the Guy." The kids use the money to buy fireworks for the evening festivities.
On the night itself, Guy is placed on top of the bonfire, which is then set alight; and fireworks displays fill the sky.
The extent of the celebrations and the size of the bonfire varies from one community to the next. Lewes, in the South East of England, is famous for its Bonfire Night festivities and consistently attracts thousands of people each year to participate.
Bonfire Night is not only celebrated in Britain. The tradition crossed the oceans and established itself in the British colonies during the centuries. It was actively celebrated in New England as "Pope Day" as late as the 18th century. Today, November 5th bonfires still light up in far out places like New Zealand and Newfoundland in Canada.
As per last year...once again, we went to the bonfire at Forest Fields Recreation Park...the event started at 7 p.m. and ended at 10 p.m.....
     
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| Saturday, 31-Oct-2009 12:00 |
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**Notts Game 2009**
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What an experience.....
The four of us...I, Zehan, Eija & Kak Zana had decided to participate in this year’s Notts Game food carnival...our planned menu was Nasi Lemak sambal ikan bilis with sambal udang, sambal sotong, sambal paru, ayam goreng berempah; Kerabu with ayam goreng berempah and solok lada; laksam; satay; cendol & kuih karipap, burger Malaysia and kuih seri muka...our stalls’ name is GERAI PAK WAN...
Preparation for the carnival was made weeks earlier....luckily Eija went home to Malaysia to care for her then ill father for 3 weeks...so, most of the ingredients were bought there...and luckily my mom had agreed to help us buy the things that we needed and help post half of it to me and sent the other half for eija to bring home....
Below are the chronological events of what we did for our “GERAI PAK WAN”....
10 Oct 2009 : Cucuk satay and freeze
15 Oct 2009 : Prepare karipap sardin and freeze
28 Oct 2009 : Prepare karipap kentang and freeze
30 Oct 2009 : Preparation of the dishes....
Dira & Kak Zana – prepare nasi lemak & all the dish and kuah kacang
Zehan & Eija – prepare nasi kerabu. Laksam & cendol
All the men – bakar satay
31 Oct 2009 : Carnival starts!!
1 Nov 2009 : Celebrate at KFC.....and basuh all periuk!!
All in all..it was a tiring yet enjoyable experience...a once in a life time! Demi Notts Game, we didn’t sleep for 2 whole days!! Soooooo exhausted! Yet so fulfilling!! Alhamdulillah...we did made some profit...enough to make us all SMILE!!! 
(the crowd at Notts Games food carnival)
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| Sunday, 25-Oct-2009 12:00 |
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** KFC @ Derby**
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YES!! there's Halal KFC near Nottingham....
on the way back from carboot...we decided to "test power' this HALAL KFC....nyum..nyum...at last..after almost 1 year...dapat jugak makan KFC....kalau tak...asyik2 makan Southern Fried Chicken...brother pakistan jual...huhuhhh...
  
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| Friday, 23-Oct-2009 12:00 |
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**Once upon a time....**
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Just like the title....once upon a time...i was pregnant...now, not anymore....
Got to know that I was 1 mths pregnant on 3 Oct....confirmed on 5 Oct 2009....lost it on 21 Oct 2009... 
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| Tuesday, 20-Oct-2009 14:13 |
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**Alysya...Oh...Alysya...**
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I’m often at my wits end with Alysya’s communication skill, which my mom thinks is above average of kids her age. Well, which nenek is not proud of her lil’ cucu la kan and obviously my mom is allowed to brag because Alysya’s her only cucu... ;P
As a matter of fact, my mom thinks it’s incredibly cute and cheeky each time Alysya managed to make me gasp with her smart and witty answers, and honestly I find it adorable and canny too, but...... 15 years from now, I doubt I’d tolerate such remarks no matter how brilliant and out of this world it may be.
Okay, let me share with you some of our conversations at home......
*Caution : You might wanna take a deep breath first before you decided to continue reading this entry.
Our Moments 1 :
We’re in the car and I was telling Nazrul about Alysya’s little mischief at home (which, I’ve totally forgotten what it was now) and I believe it’s something funny and equally cheeky, Alysya looked at me and said, “Stop it mama!.... I say STOPPP IT! Dowan tell papa ok!”
Our Moments 2 :
Alysya and her friend were playing and at some point, both of them were standing on a big pillow (which were placed on the carpet) while watching TV.
Mama : “Alysya, what did mama say about standing on a pillow?” (I’ve been telling Alysya that pillow is meant to be used for our head and we use it when we wanna sleep as we placed our head on a pillow)
Alysya : “See, I (am) not standing on a pillow, this is (a) BIG pillow mama, not same pillow for sleep, OKAY!”
Our Moments 3 :
Alysya was holding her ice-cream with both her hands and asked me to switch on the TV for her.
Alysya : “Mama, on (the) TV for me, please”
Mama : (Instead of switching it on for her straight away, this was what I said to her) “You wanna watch TV, go and on it yourself”.
Alysya : “Mamaaaa, I got ONLY 2 hands you see and I (am) hold(ing) my ice cream.... see...see..... (while showing me her hands that’s wrapped tightly around the ice-cream)... I cannot on (the) TV.....you help me on (the) TV OKAY....
Our Moments 4 :
In my continuous attempt to educate Alysya about Table Etiquette especially the part where one is not allowed to talk with his/her mouth full, below is the respond I got from my lil’girl. Hmmmm.... my mistake, I admit.
Mama : “ALYSYAAAAA......, did you have a tissue with you?” (I was in the kitchen while Alsya was seated at the dining table, just a few feet away from the kitchen, enjoying her mee goreng and when she didn’t respond, I went to her and asked why).
Alysya : “I’m eating, mama.... see.....(siap bukak mulut tunjuk lagi tu).... cannot talk OKAY!”
Our Moments 5 :
I tend to repeat things over and over with Alysya. So, one fine day, I wanted her to put her toys away after she’d done playing with them.
Mama : “Alysya, please put your toys away if you done playing with it"
Alysya : “Wait mama.... I (want to) watch TV first”
Mama : “Alysya, put your toys back in the cabinet first, then, you watch TV”. (No respond from Alysya)
Mama : “Alysya, I say P.U.T Y.O.U.R T.O.Y.S away first okay!”
Alysya : “okay...okay...okay” (but still not moving an inch from the TV)
Mama : (starts to membebel and tidy up the mess). “Next time, I’ll put your toys in the cellar so that you cannot play with it anymore because when I asked you nicely to put it away, you do not want to listen to me”... (and ntah apa2 lagi I membebel la....)
Alysya : (Dragging her feet to where I was). “Okay, mama... I’m coming...” (Mama still in her membebel-mode) “I know, mama .... I know... I know...I know!....” (Mama STILL yakking at her).... “Sshhhhhhhhooooooo, mamaaaa..... quiet!” (complete with her index finger on her lips)
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Note to myself : What goes around, comes around! I’m legendary known for my ‘menjawab’ skills and I have my mom to vouch for this special trait of mine. *sigh* tu la masa menjawab kat mama tak hengat dunia, sekarang sendiri mau tanggung laaaa....... 
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| Tuesday, 6-Oct-2009 13:42 |
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**Trust is more fragile than pride...**
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A question of trust.....
The way I see it, trust is the foundation of any relationship, platonic or otherwise; if you don’t have trust, the relationship is simply pointless and not worth the hassle.
Some things are just not meant to be, and better left at that. I told Z to tell T that I said “Hi”, and that I wish her all the best.
On another note altogether, but still on the same subject, there are those who keep harping on about how I had ‘betrayed’ them. Well, let’s get this one fact straight: you don’t betray those you don’t care about, or have little regard for. I mean, we weren’t even friends in the first place. Unlike most people, I don’t use the term ‘friends’ loosely (I thought I have already told you that?). For me to regard you as a friend, I must a) trust you, b) like you, and c) respect you. If there was none of that between you and me, then sorry, I guess you were not important to me. I mean, I didn’t regard you as a friend – I didn’t even like you to begin with - so how in the world could I have betrayed you? To me, betrayal only applies when it involves those who matter to you, other than that is simply a manifestation of your aversion towards that person. I take extra care not to betray those whom I care about – I just don’t do that. And please don’t flatter yourself by saying that it was because of my jealousy towards you, because I don’t do jealousy either. And no, it has nothing to do with things like your educational background, (lack of) worldly exposure or social status, because I don’t judge people based on superficial attributes, either. If I say I don’t like you, it’s because of your sucky attitude and your ‘lorat’ behaviour, not because of anything else. But if it makes you feel better and helps you sleep at night, then by all means, put all the blame you want on me, honey. I have no problems being labelled ‘A Major Bitch’ - in fact, I’m quite used to it by now – but at least I don’t live in denial and play the victim.
You can tell yourself all sorts of things but the truth always remains. So, please, spare me the drama. Shut it already and move on !!
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* Sometimes, in life, you’ve got to risk some in order to gain some.
* Sometimes, you’ve just got to give yourself a little push, just that little bit harder, in order to move forward and upwards, to reach whatever it is you’re aiming for.
* Sometimes, you just have to throw caution to the wind, say “To hell with it!” and just do it already, damnit.
* It’s time to take charge and break free from all the shackles, from the Prison of Self.
* It’s time for a major spring clean once again. This includes, but not limited to, banishing all toxic matters and negative substances from my life. Out with the useless old junk and in with the new gainful ones.
* Baggages only weigh one down and hinder one’s progress.
The song ‘Breakout’ by Swing Out Sister comes to mind (yes, I love my 80s)..... 
“The time has come to make a break …
… move on, don’t hesitate”
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| Tuesday, 6-Oct-2009 13:07 |
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**An Elephant never forgets!!**
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Is it possible to forgive without forgetting?”
The question above has been playing in my mind for the past week.
You know when people say they forgive you, and yet, they never seem to be able to forget about what had happened between the two of you. Is that right? Shouldn’t part of the forgiving process be forgetting about what had happened? I mean, how could you completely forgive someone if you can’t forget about what had happened?”
I think, in an ideal world, in an ideal situation, maybe.
But ... ?
We’re not living in an ideal world. And our situations are usually far from ideal. Besides, we’re only human. Human beings are hardly ideal creatures. Unless you’re suffering from amnesia or Alzheimer’s Disease, then yeah, pretty much so.
So what’s the point of forgiving if you can’t forget? When you still remember, doesn’t it mean that there’s some sort of a residual effect that hinders you from moving on completely? How could things be okay once more between the two of you, when at the back of your mind, there are still all these residues?”
Hmmm...Let’s put it this way: the way I see it, ‘forgiveness’ and ‘forgetting’ are two different things, separate from each other. You don’t need to do one to do the other.
When something happens between two individuals, the dynamics of the relationship is altered, irrevocably. They may decide to kiss and make up in the future, but things can never be the same between them; they can never return to the way things were. Why? Because we tend to remember what has transpired. We may have forgiven, but we may never forget. And that, in turn, will tend to influence future actions or decisions with regard to the relationship. So, no matter how we insist that “all is forgotten”, I guess that residual factor is always going to remain.
My point is; We may not be able to forget, but that doesn’t reduce the quality of the forgiveness altogether. Like I said before, they are two different things. You are able to do one without having to do the other. Forgiveness remains a noble act, which not everyone is capable of doing, whether forgetting is part of the equation or not.
Sometimes, people talk about moving on. But in my opinion, moving on has got nothing to do with one’s ability to forget. Sometimes, remembering can help to accelerate the process of moving on. And a relationship can still move on even with all that history behind it, albeit to another level, or in a different direction.
But then again, this is just from my cynical point of view. I could be wrong. There may be some out there who are actually able to forget completely, God bless them.
I guess forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting, but has everything to do with the kind of residual load that you still have on you from back then.
For you can never truly forgive where there is still leftover bitterness.
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